It was a beautiful day today for the Brandon Memorial Service for Callum. There were a lot of people there - we had to use some overflow seating. Kind of amazing and awe-inspiring for me. We left Brandon just over 10 years ago and there still so many people who came out to remember Callum and support our family. It is a testament to the number of people whose hearts he touched in some way. One might think that it would be easier because we had a 2nd service. It was still hard. Hard to have to admit he is gone. Hard to hear so many share stories and how much they will miss him. Hard to look at pictures and know he isn't coming back. Hard to see many people by myself when we would hang out together in the past. Hard to realize that he isn't just across the room, he isn't going to get the car and pick me up at the door, and I will never feel a warm embrace in his arms. will never. I will need to relay on memory to find the comfort of his touch and the warmth of his smile.
I know he is gone but I feel him near. I am waiting to hear his voice to once again tell me it is going to be alright.
I will find comfort in family and friends. I have had ongoing and amazing support in the past few weeks. I will find joy in my life again. But I will always carry some sadness with me. He is no longer walking by my side in this world. I hope that whatever world he found will let him continue to guide me - and to love me. Love never dies.
Ever absent, ever near;
Still I see thee, still I hear;
Yet I cannot reach thee, dear!
~Francis Kazinczy
I miss him....
TTFN
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