Thursday, July 5, 2012

Reality Bites

One year ago today Callum and I spent our last night together in our own place.  So hard now to believe that it would be our last night together in the condo, even though we spent 1/2 the night in Emerg.

The past couple of weeks have been getting tougher.  I know from my work experience that "anniversaries" bring increased stress - and in these cases - sadness.  I am not sure what I am in for in the next few days.

My heart hurts now.  These days are becoming vivid reminders of how much her suffered, how brave he was to fight through the pain, and how much I miss him.  The other morning I woke up and looked across the bed, for a blinking second, I expected to see his smile.  He usually was awake before me.

This is just not fair.  I have made it through up until now without him - but it is not easy.  I still don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life without him.

It just hurts.

I hate cancer.  I hate cancer. I hate cancer.

I miss Callum.

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