Changes

Everyone goes through changes. Big. Small, Expected. Unexpected. Planned. Unplanned. And some just come whether you like it or not. 

Callum had another bleed Tuesday night. We decided to give both of us a rest and have him take a respite night in the Palliative Care Unit. It was not long before he was considering whether he should make this a more permanent stay. The catch is, that if he chooses to come into the Palliative Care Unit, there will be fewer and fewer steps taken to prolong his life.  Some important decisions to yet make.

He had a unit of blood tonight and will have another unit tomorrow. He will stay in the Palliative Care Unit while we will take a few days to decide what he wants to do next. 

Changes we knew were coming.  Changes we wish weren't coming.  Life is not fair. He doesn't deserve this. Our family doesn't deserve. Cancer doesn't care. It just doesn't care.  

I would love to put a positive spin on this, but most of you already know what I would say. Part of the grieving is to acknowledge how much this sucks, how much this hurts, and how much we will miss him.      We need to be grateful for the good things, but it does not minimize the pain. 

I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all of your tears away, being your best friend.  I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too.  Author Unknown

TTFN

Lorna