Thursday, October 7, 2010

Another great day!

Another great day at the doctor - the brain MRI shows no new growth and the tumour is stable. In fact, the neurosurgeon says he doesn't need to see Cal unless he starts to have symptoms. He will have the oncologist follow the brain met from now on.  We were such very happy people, after a week that was filled with many emotions - hope, fear, anxiety, trepidation - and now great joy!  We will soak in all this great feeling, because we, like you, never know when it will end.

To live happily is an inward power of the soul.
Aristotle

TTFN

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Superheroes come in all forms...


















I turned my head towards him and looked at him straight in the eyes "You amaze me!".  There haven't been many times in my life I have been short of words.

Hours earlier I awoke many times, trying to fend off the anxiety of the doctor appointment.  They always make me feel uneasy, but this visit we knew we would have the results of the latest CT scan - the first one since the new chemo drug. I tried to tell myself to go to sleep, not worry. And it worked. In short spurts. In the end, 5 am was the last time I would have enjoyed any shut-eye today.

The rain made the start of the day even more anxious - was it a sign? Any chance this was pathetic fallacy?
Off to the Cancer Centre we went. Both of us feeling the weight of the unknown on our shoulders on the inside, yet outwardly keeping positive. The knee was swelling a bit, and the ankle, too. Could we be so lucky to have yet another reprieve?

There are some new doctors at the Cancer Clinic so they have switched around the nurses who work for them. We had to break in a new nurse - M. She took us to her room, reassured us that she had been at the Cancer Centre for 14 years and knew Dr. Haider well. Then she went into the same old thing - blood pressure, temperature, pulse.  All were quite satisfactory. Then the CT scan....she looked through the file....she looked at the report to get the summary. Did the fear and anxiety inside show through our positive facade? "There has been a positive response to the chemo. The lesion in the right upper lung has decreased in size and there are no new metasteses." she said.  Big sigh. Huge sigh.

It was then that I realized that I was married to a superhero. He just doesn't like to wear tights.


“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities, always see them, for they're always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale


TTFN