Dreams

In the information on grief I have read so far, it mentions that you have more dreams when you are grieving. I have noticed this to be true. In fact, I had an amazing dream last night.

I dreamt that I was in the hospital with Callum, and he was in a deep sleep - really non-responsive.  I was utterly amazed when he woke up. I thought it was a joke. But he was talking to me. I was so happy I couldn't stand it. I was taking him for a transfusion and told him every minute how much I loved him. He held me and kissed me, and told me how much he loved me.  I let him know that I had made a bargain that if he was given back to me I would tell him very, very often how much I loved him. I can still feel the reassurance in his voice, a warm hug and his gentle touch. 

And then I woke up this morning, rolled over to give him a kiss, but he wasn't there.  A tear rolled down my cheek, Then another. And another.  I hadn't yet been awake 2 minutes.  

I try to enjoy the feelings I had in the dream, and the time I got to spend with Callum, even if it was just a dream. Sometimes I wished I never woke up from that dream. It was such a loving and caring moment.

Not long after that I read a memoriam in the newspaper - from a husband to his wife who passed away last year. I don't remember the exact wording, but he basically said that he doesn't shy away from the sad times. For they give him a chance to spend more time with her, even though she's gone.  I liked what he said, and will try to cherish the memory, even though it still hurts. 

"When I miss you, I don't have to go far ... I just have to look inside my heart because that's where I'll find you."  Ruthie

TTFN

Lorna