Well, today was one of those days some anger surfaced. It's been a long time since that has happened! I was working on our back flower garden - it had become terribly overgrown- and I was mad that I was out there all alone. I know it sounds selfish, and I don't know if I can explain that it isn't selfishness that made me angry. It was just another reminder that things are not as they should be. Under normal (not that I even know what that is anymore!) circumstances Callum would have helped me. He would have taken the pitchfork and loosed up the weeds and grass, and I would have followed and pulled them out. But I was there, alone, doing it. And he was in the house, alone, frustrated that he couldn't help. It's not that I couldn't do it, or wouldn't do it.....but that cancer had yet again found a way to show us things aren't normal. Damn cancer!
OK....now that I have it our of my system - thanks for listening to the rant!
I now can genuinely give thanks:
- for another beautiful day that let me clean out that flower garden, and even find a lily and some irises under a tree!
- that Callum made lunch. I had no idea he was going to do it. I came inside from the garden and lunch was ready! What a lucky girl I am!
- for being healthy enough to clean out the garden!
- for music.....I love music!
- for our sauna - my "gardening muscles" will love the sauna tonight!
I am very grateful for all that I have.
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Melody Beattie
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