cancer sucks

I hate cancer.....once more I utter those words. This is our wedding anniversary. Why don't we deserve a break from this wretched disease? I know the positive outlook is that we get to celebrate our anniversary together. Even if it is done at home...with Callum turning green while trying to eat. With me feeling mad that we don't get this one day without having to face cancer. I would have even take 2 or 3 hours! Mad that the cancer has made him too sick to even go buy a card - I know that sounds petty, but please read on. He is so upset that he didn't get a card that he won't open the one I got him. We never really have bought anniversary presents-except for our 25th anniversary. Sometimes I got roses, but our supper out was always what we did. I just hate this. On top of everything else he has to deal with now he feels bad because he didn't get me a card. He was supposed to be better today. He has no energy. Can't take more than about a half dozen bites before you can tell that if he took one more it might all come up. I called the nurse and we have more dexamethasone - the steroid he usually takes only for the first 3 days after chemo. I hope it works. He is so frustrated and has cranky moments....then I have cranky moments.....I just wish he would feel better. He is feeling so bad that he won't even drive.....so he lets me drive him - he has to be really sick to let me drive him this much! I tried to make supper as nice as possible - some candles and cloth napkins. About the best I could do for now. I really will treasure those good days now. They will be precious. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.