The bumpy road...

Well,

It has been quite the interesting few days. I hate cancer! In case you didn't hear me - I hate cancer! Cancer is mean and harsh. I guess you can figure out that the last few days have been interesting, to say the least. Callum has done really well...but, as most of you can likely testify from knowing someone who has had chemo, chemo is nasty. He has been a bit nauseous but fortunate there has been no mouth sores. He is low on energy, and says it feels like he has something "stuck" in his esophagus when he eats. He thinks it is an irritation from the hiccups he gets after he has treatment. He gets the hiccups many times a day for the first 3 or 4 days after treatment. He has also started to get a sensitive spot on the back of his head - not sure what that is about but it seems to bother him a bit. Oh yeah...and the hair is starting to go. You can't notice it too much right now, but every day in the shower it comes out. We are thinking it won't be too long before he will have to get shaved. I think I have a harder time with this than he does. I am not afraid of the bald head - what bothers me is that it is then a constant reminder of the cancer that is lurking in his body. I hate cancer! I finally shed some tears Saturday night -really the first time since we found out there is no cure. We bought a little computer desk and filing cabinet and needed to put it together. We hadn't yet found the charger for our drill - or the dustbuster for that matter! So, since the moving packers - did I ever say I also hate them! - found it necessary to wrap up even a votive candle, we thought the plug maybe was wrapped up in some paper and in one of the many boxes of paper in the garage. So here I was, at 10:30 Saturday night, uwrapping packing paper piece by piece - and the tears started. I hated that I even had to look through the paper....I hated that I was alone doing it...I hated that cancer treatment made Callum too tired to be able to help...and I hated that these kind of days were just starting. There is another 5 months of this to go. I really wondered if I have what it takes to get through this...and then I hated that I felt so weak when Callum was working so hard to fight this. Why was I the wimpy one? We are both trying so hard to help the other that we snap at each other. We haven't done that for so long. Thank goodness we both are a lot better at apologizing and moving on. We don't waste many minutes being mad at each other. Callum is such a fighter - I am so proud of him. I don't know if I remembered to tell people that he has decided that at least for the 6 months of treatment he will work whenever he is feeling up to it. So far he is working about 7 - 8 days between treatments. I think it is good for him and the StarPhoenix is so flexible and good to him that he can work shorter days if needed. This is the "good week" so we are looking forward to seeing some more "normal days". My Mom and Earl on coming up for a visit this weekend so that will be nice. Jamie had a change to his work schedule so they aren't able to go golfing the first weekend in July, but he will come visit in the middle of July. It will be nice and we hope to get out golfing while he is here. As is the Canadian way...the clouds of the weekend have given way to a sunny Monday morning - why aren't weekends on Monday and Tuesday??

Til next time...
Take Care,