what a week!

It has been quite an interesting week. It appears that Callum has picked up a virus of some kind. He wasn't feeling great on Sunday afternoon and thought he just needed a nap. The back of his head was quite sore. It occurred to me on Tuesday that he really had enlarged lymph nodes - which meant his body was trying to fight something. He had no fever or other symptoms, other than he was quite tired. He did call his nurse who asked him to wait a day and see how it was. He was no better on Wed so he called back and they gave him a prescription for Tylenol 3's. He was so disappointed and frustrated as he was supposed to go to Toronto to meet with the other CanWest advertising guys. He was so looking forward to the trip and then wasn't feeling well enough to go. And on top of it - this was nothing to do with the cancer! (at least as far as we know right now.). The oncologist thinks this isn't related to cancer but did order a CT scan that Callum had on Friday. We should get the results early next week. He was starting to feel better this weekend and did put in some hours at work on Friday. There was at least one other person at the StarPhoenix with the same thing so it just looks like a virus. I think we will have to put some Purell in his office and get everyone to wash their hands before going to see him - he doesn't like the idea but I don't know if he is truly grasping how important it may be. He is still shedding hair a bit - it has slowed down, though. We expect it will start to again come up in little clumps after chemo starts again this week. He started getting a few mouth sores so is looking for soft and mushy foods. We hope the mouthwash keeps working! He isn't talking much - sometimes that is good!All of this made it a busy week for me. The novelty of making supper has worn off already. We had some late meals as I tried to keep up with work and then coming home to cook. And we didn't have many of the easy meals around as I wasn't expecting Callum home for most of the week. Oh well, it all worked out. My mom and Earl came up on Friday and left this morning. They were stopping in at Earl's brother Harry's place today and hoped to stay there the night and head home Monday morning. We had a good visit and took in some of the Saskatoon Jazz festival, craft/art show and then when out to dinner to celebrate Earl's birthday. Mom is doing great and loving to get out to do things. Her rhubarb crisp was wonderful, too!! There was some great news in the world of colorectal cancer treatment research - May 31 - June 2 there were 5 abstracts reported at the American Society of Clinical Ongologists meeting that showed some great benefits for using Avastin in the treatment of advanced colorectal cancer. This is in stark contrast to provinces like Alberta who still insist there is no benefit, as some of you may have read in an article in the May 31 edition of the Medicine Hat News. I have had some discussions with the News re: the article and will write a letter to the editor to provide some additional information and education. The drug does work and was also recently approved by the FDA in the U.S. to use for treatment of advanced breast cancer. If you ever want to look up information one great site is the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada site http://www.colorectal-cancer.ca/ . Well, we are gearing up for cycle 3 of chemo. At best Callum will have 2 good days this time round - quite disappointing for us both. Vanessa and Stuart are coming up on the 27th and we are going to Cirque de Soleil. It will be nice to have a visit with them. Jamie now has to work the weekend after that so the golfing with his Dad is put off for now - he will come up around the middle of July so we are looking forward to spending the time with him - and hopefully some golf! We have my nephew and his family, Chris, Raegan, Karly, Danielle and Brandon coming to visit on the August long weekend. It will be so nice to have them here so we can return the hospitality they have so often shown us. It will be a fun weekend! Well, I think that is it for now! Keep checking back for updates!

post replies to blog, please!

Hi - just a quick request that if you would like to reply to my blog, please use the comments section of the blog page...not our home email address. I would like to keep all the the comments together with the posts - and since I am sharing my thoughts, I don't want Callum to get any more worried about me than he already is.

Thanks!
Lorna

The bumpy road...

Well,

It has been quite the interesting few days. I hate cancer! In case you didn't hear me - I hate cancer! Cancer is mean and harsh. I guess you can figure out that the last few days have been interesting, to say the least. Callum has done really well...but, as most of you can likely testify from knowing someone who has had chemo, chemo is nasty. He has been a bit nauseous but fortunate there has been no mouth sores. He is low on energy, and says it feels like he has something "stuck" in his esophagus when he eats. He thinks it is an irritation from the hiccups he gets after he has treatment. He gets the hiccups many times a day for the first 3 or 4 days after treatment. He has also started to get a sensitive spot on the back of his head - not sure what that is about but it seems to bother him a bit. Oh yeah...and the hair is starting to go. You can't notice it too much right now, but every day in the shower it comes out. We are thinking it won't be too long before he will have to get shaved. I think I have a harder time with this than he does. I am not afraid of the bald head - what bothers me is that it is then a constant reminder of the cancer that is lurking in his body. I hate cancer! I finally shed some tears Saturday night -really the first time since we found out there is no cure. We bought a little computer desk and filing cabinet and needed to put it together. We hadn't yet found the charger for our drill - or the dustbuster for that matter! So, since the moving packers - did I ever say I also hate them! - found it necessary to wrap up even a votive candle, we thought the plug maybe was wrapped up in some paper and in one of the many boxes of paper in the garage. So here I was, at 10:30 Saturday night, uwrapping packing paper piece by piece - and the tears started. I hated that I even had to look through the paper....I hated that I was alone doing it...I hated that cancer treatment made Callum too tired to be able to help...and I hated that these kind of days were just starting. There is another 5 months of this to go. I really wondered if I have what it takes to get through this...and then I hated that I felt so weak when Callum was working so hard to fight this. Why was I the wimpy one? We are both trying so hard to help the other that we snap at each other. We haven't done that for so long. Thank goodness we both are a lot better at apologizing and moving on. We don't waste many minutes being mad at each other. Callum is such a fighter - I am so proud of him. I don't know if I remembered to tell people that he has decided that at least for the 6 months of treatment he will work whenever he is feeling up to it. So far he is working about 7 - 8 days between treatments. I think it is good for him and the StarPhoenix is so flexible and good to him that he can work shorter days if needed. This is the "good week" so we are looking forward to seeing some more "normal days". My Mom and Earl on coming up for a visit this weekend so that will be nice. Jamie had a change to his work schedule so they aren't able to go golfing the first weekend in July, but he will come visit in the middle of July. It will be nice and we hope to get out golfing while he is here. As is the Canadian way...the clouds of the weekend have given way to a sunny Monday morning - why aren't weekends on Monday and Tuesday??

Til next time...
Take Care,

2nd cycle of chemo

Today was the start of the 2nd cycle of chemo. Things went well. I don't understand why sometimes he thinks it is a bad thing to tell the nurses how he had been doing. He was nauseas last time for nearly 5 days and he tells them it wasn't bad. I am hoping that with rest he feels better. It is interesting how every time you start to feel sorry for yourself, someone comes along and shakes you out of it! Callum shared a chemo treatment room this week. The other man, Don, was taking his 5th cycle of the same treatment Callum is having. He was first diagnosed in 2004 with Stage 2 colorectal cancer. I guess the follow up isn't as rigourous as with Stage 3, and he found out that he incurable cancer. He was seen at a clinic in Alberta and was told he had 6 months to live and there was nothing they could do. He came to Saskatoon and the Dr here said he thinks he can get him 2 years. This poor man lost his 23 year old daughter to cancer in 2004, and 6 weeks after that he lost his wife due to a brain aneurysm. Then just a few short months after that he was diagnosed with cancer. What a bad year for him! He still has a 16 year girl at home and is planning on living to see her graduate. He is taking a herb from the states along with the chemotherapy and says he is feeling great. It likely seems weird, but I felt very lucky today after leaving the cancer clinic.

Even though I felt lucky, I must say it was another reality check this morning. April and May were such busy months, but there was something about things feeling "normal" with all the plans for the wedding reception and moving. Kind of helped us not really deal with the seriousness of the situation. I have had a few moments the past couple of days - I am sure there will be more days like this to come! Thank goodness they are few and far between.

Callum was pretty good today. I did go out and get some gravol for him - hoping that helps him through the night as the prescription meds aren't doing much right now. He slept this afternoon and made supper - so I was a happy camper!

Well, I should go..I am finding myself very tired as we have had a very busy week with early morning appointments and getting caught up with groceries and basic things since getting into the house.

Take care all!

Step by Step

Here is my inaugural blog. I have had some lengthy update emails lately and thought this might be a way of sharing some of the more in depth part of our cancer journey. I know some of you prefer details only so I will send out informative email updates, and others are interested in hearing more of the emotional side, so I hope this will help meet both interests. I will continue to send emails with basic information, and will blog more regularly. I am finding this part of our journey to be a bit busier and serious, so find it helps if I write more often. I am looking forward to the opportunity to write without having to "be careful" since I am not sure where all the emails go.

For those who will follow us on the journey, I hope you find it helpful. I plan to use this as a basis for a book I plan to write about this journey. Hopefully you will buy it when it is published!

Well, that is it for now - keep checking back to see what is new.