Dear Callum,

It has been 8 months since you left this world.  For some reason this week has seemed like it was not that long ago. You have been on my mind nearly constantly for the past few days. I have been quite busy - I am surprised there has been time for my mind to think of you so much. 

Have I been too busy to let you know what has been happening?  I am now half way through the self employment program. I do believe I am onto an emerging market with the slideshows. I think it will be fun and I will love to see others experience that emotional connection to their memories.  

Jamie is doing well. There is still  a lot of up and down for him at work, but he has such a mature and positive attitude he will be successful regardless of what happens there. You were such a great role model for him, and I know he misses being able to talk to you about the good times and challenges at work. He respects all your accomplishments and guidance, and would love a chance to have that again.  You taught him to embrace life, and so he is visiting V and R in Mexico for the 2nd time this winter.  He also has a golf trip planned for later this month. Golf and travel....that's our son!

I have been helping Vanessa and Stuart a bit. Rowan is not a sleeper and it has been quite challenging for Vanessa and Stuart to get much sleep.  There is starting to be a few better days but it is wearing on them after 3 months of it. Did you know they have bought a lot and are building a new house? You would be so proud of them.  They have worked really hard to come up with a plan that meets all their needs.  I am so excited for them - and I know you are too.  Having your guidance would have made them very happy, so please watch carefully over them so they will have a house they love and enjoy. 

And your grandsons. What can I say? Cade is now quite the little boy and not at all a baby. He speaks so well and is a lot of fun to be around. He still remembers you. We show him your pictures often. It was kind of funny one day, because we showed him a picture of you with hair, and he thought it was you and then changed his mind. It was then we realized he never knew you with hair. Such a sad realization of the short time he had with you, his very special grandad. 

Rowan, well, Rowan is so cute. And it's a good thing because he can try the patience of the best of us! He is getting better and last night he figured out he could kick the the bath.  You would have laughed - he kicked water all over the table and the floor!  I know your first thought would be how well those legs will kick a soccer ball! 

These boys are absolutely surrounded by love. But there is no doubt there lives will not be the same without you. We will do our best to make sure they know their Grandad through pictures, stories and videos. 

I still keep in touch with your family.  Your mom and dad are doing well.  I think they have had time to recover from the trip to Scotland after Nana Campbell's passing.  Your brothers and families are doing fine. 

And me? Well, I hope you are proud of what I have done these past few months. I am trying to learn how to live without you. It is very hard sometimes. With all the things I am learning at the self employment program I still expect that I can talk with you about it when I get home.  I miss your unconditional support and encouragement - and even your sometimes brutal honesty.  Have you heard me when I asked for you to let me know it's going to be OK? To be near and walk beside me during these new journeys? 

So many memories - happy and sad.  I now have full insurance on the Porsche and will soon be driving it again. But my mind remembers all too well your last ride in it on the day you went into the hospital. You should be driving around Medicine Hat in it. I look at it and realize how much I have lost now that you aren't here. I wish I could trade away the Porsche for you to come back. 

Yes, sweetheart. You are missed every single day.  I have had a couple of good weeks but the grief has come back in a hurry this week. I miss you so very, very much.  My heart aches.  My mind remembers. My brain helps me carry on.  

And so, today I let you know how much I miss you and wish the clock of time could be rewound so I could once again feel the warmth of your hug and tenderness of your kiss. So I could again hold your hand, look into your eyes and know, just know, everything will be alright. 

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."  ~Author Unknown

TTFN

Lorna