Monday, June 20, 2011

Pride and Humility


For a long time I have marvelled at how often we have two opposite feelings at the same time. The first time I remember dealing with this close up was when I worked at the women's shelter in Brandon. When working with the children in shelter I used a book called "Double-dip Feelngs".  It talked about different times children have to go through opposite feelings at the same time: happy to move to a new house and get your own room, but sad to leave all their friends; excited to start school but afraid of leaving mom; etc.

Going through a cancer journey leads to dealing with contradictions like this all the time.  From the toxic effects of chemotherapy in order to treat the disease, but wishing for healthy days, to wanting test results quickly - but knowing that it is usually bad news if you hear too quickly.

I have recently experienced something similar, although the opposite feelings come from different experiences.

Pride: a feeling of pleasure and satisfaction thatyou get when you, or someone connected with you, haveachieved something special (MacMillan Dictionary).
 I have felt an extreme amount of pride in our children in the last month. They are very different children with very different personalities, and therefore, different accomplishments. However, we are equally proud of them.

Vanessa is now a full fledged Chartered Accountant. She has been relentlessly dedicated in the pursuit of this goal, and she achieved it in May.  She also was the successful candidate to join the finance department at the City of Medicine Hat.  Her goal has been to find employment which gave her a balance of family life, work life, and financial stability. And I believe she has found it. We are so proud of her hard work and dedication to family.

Jamie's first love has always been golf. He has been a top notch amateur golfer and last fall set a goal to win the Victoria Day Tournament in Medicine Hat. He practiced and practiced and it paid off with a win! Up to this time Jamie had won 2 of the 3 major golf tournaments in Medicine Hat, and he wanted to win this one for his Dad. It was thrilling for us to watch him birdie the playoff hole for the win. We are so proud of his hard work and dedication to his goal, and his family.

Humility - a way of behaving that shows that shows you do not think you are better or more important than other people.

I am not sure I truly like that definition of humility, but I think you will get what I am trying to say.  We have been through this cancer journey for nearly 6 years. We have had many ups and downs, good days, bad days, unexpected trials and successes.  We have had help from many people over this time, but last week was the first time that I just couldn't do everything that needed to be done. Even as I write this, I have a dishwasher full of clean dishes, a sink full of dirty ones, counters that need wiped, etc. I will get to it later today.  This has happened before, but not really much since I have not been working and doing these things at the same time.  I have been humbled, and will actively seek out more help. I didn't understand the advice of making things as easy as possible so you have the energy for the good times and fun stuff.  I now have a better idea what that means. We are so lucky to have so many people here to help us. I am getting less hesitant about taking people up on their offers!

If anyone reading this is in a similar situation, I have found an on line resource to help coordinate the help from people. It looks quite neat and I have started using it. Check out https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/create/  and see what you think!

If you would like to help us out, please copy and paste this link in your browser:
https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/643145/ 


You will need to sign up and register in order to help, but there is no cost and no risk.
"Giving is the secret of a healthy life. Not necessarily money, but whatever a person has of encouragement, sympathy and understanding." John D. Rockefeller


TTFN

3 comments:

  1. Hi Lorna, thanks for your kind words. I would love to hear from you and will email you later. It does help me to vent somewhat in writing, however they are not my deeps thoughts, even though they may seem eloquent. The deepness of my pain is not shareable with the general internet as I am sure you know. I will try to email you later today. Your lots a helping hands link sounds interesting and I may check it out. I finally hired a helper, and my daughter has moved home for a time so things have become slightly easier. Again thanks for writing.

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  2. Lorna, I set up my phone and it worked slick to remind me. Thanks for the helpful tip. Good to have another brain working for me.

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  3. Deborah - You are very welcome! I am glad it worked for you. It sure takes some pressure off!

    PS - beware, my brain may not always be working so well!

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