I'm back.....

Hi everyone. Just a quick note tonight. I have had many people say they have been checking the blog and there have been no recent updates. No problems, just "making hay while the sun shines".

Fall is a busy time for me at work, with art educator retreats, finishing up year end, follow up reports to funders, conferences, and all the other stuff!

I was also very busy with LIVESTRONG Day, October 2, which was also the public launch of Saskatoon Supporting LIVESTRONG Cancer Corp. It has taken a while for me to catch my breath.

In November we spent a few days in Medicine Hat, a week in Mexico, and a few more days in Manitoba. You could say we did the M&M&M tour!

I finally got the tree decorated tonight, and ready to get the rest of the Christmas decorating done this weekend.

Callum has been doing quite well. The fall has been quite typical with chemo every 2 weeks, along with follow up tests. So far there is nothing new to report. He has been feeling quite well with the exception of those 5 - 7 days after the first chemo day.

I promise to fill you in on the the past few months in a day or so.

Thanks again for everyone's best wishes and positive thoughts. We truly believe they make a big difference!!

TTFN

Lorna

Summit - Day 1 summary

My apologies for not getting a post up earlier. We had some very long days at the summit and I found my brain just couldn't give up the info yet! I have started working on summaries of the presentations and will add some of my ideas later on. It was an amazing 3 days and I am still processing and making sense of what I have learned. The summaries are a bit academic - as I said, I will add my opinions and ideas later on.

Summit - Day 1

Global Summit – Day 1

Across the world, 33,000 people will be diagnosed with cancer – today.

We really only know about ½ of the causes of cancer, but of what we know:

· 80-90% of cancer have origin in environment or lifestyle behaviours

· Infections cause a high number of cases cancer in developing countries – ex. Hepatitis B causes liver cancer

· 30% of cancers in rich countries are caused by tobacco

Cancer is the most preventable and most curable of chronic diseases.

Cancer is as much a political issue as medical one.

In the U.S., a 10% decrease in cancer cases = $1 trillion in health savings

Does focus on prevention lead to blame or guilt? We must empower people, it is important not give too much personal responsibility.

Tobacco is only co-op that can market an addictive and lethal disease.

Cancer is not only life-threatening – it is an act of violence. You have to fight for your life and fight for your care.

3 things that can save lives:

- Eliminate exposure to tobacco

- Get exercise

- Be active – become an activist

We must put site-specific things aside and provide a unified front to politicians, etc.

Cancer must be approached in an intersectoral manner – across all areas of government. This is not only a health issue. Some governments allocate funding based on evidence based treatments and best practices. We can use some preventative strategies – eliminate tobacco use, eliminate use of tanning beds, use screening programs – there needs to be buy in from all levels and areas of government.

One suggestion to making a difference for access to medication is to change the length of time a drug company can have monopoly on intellectual property – perhaps 2 years, and government subsidizes any losses to company for the other 3 years.

In Belgium people are reimbursed 40 – 60% of treatment costs after consultation and negotiation with government and industry.

We should utilize current infrastructure and use electronic transfer of images/diagnostics.

We may need to take this issue to United Nations to address this on a global level.

Sometimes even free programs don’t have 100% participation – often lower socio-economic groups don’t participate

Prevention and early detection = better quality of life.

We need solidarity in fight – address fears of being ill and dying.

Our plan and vision need to be based on best possible outcomes for patients and access for patient to receive best treatments available.

We must give hope – cancer does not mean death.

World Cancer Targets

Many levers of cancer lie outside medical system.

There are shared risk factors for other non-communicable diseases.

INCP – only 14% of population has access to opiate pain medication – ie. Morphine.

We can increase quality of care by creating specialty health centres and specialized services.

Countries need to develop a National Cancer Plan.

All layers need to be involved.

Educate professionals

Continuum of stakeholders.

Corporate responsibility

- now match employees contribution with time off

- loan Pfizer employees for up to 6 months

- “social opportunity vs. social responsibility

Power of bringing together unusual events – i.e. NIKE Stages art project

Business philosophy – “profits with a purpose” -becomes part of profile of company

The Global Burden of Cancer

Today, 33,000 people around the globe will be diagnosed with cancer. We are facing an epidemic, especially in the developing countries. In my opinion, this is quickly becoming a humanitarian crisis. And we must respond. People all over the world have recognized the urgency of the situation and have found creative ways to address the issues arising in their countries. But it is not enough. We must have a global, intersectoral, governmental, multi agency and grassroots response so that everyone, regardless of where they live, will have access to diagnostic tools and treatments that will save their life and give them a better quality of life.

Currently, we know approximately ½ of the causes of cancer. We know:

· 80-90% of cancer have origin in environment or lifestyle behaviours

· Infections cause a high number of cases cancer in developing countries – ex. Hepatitis B causes liver cancer

· 30% of cancers in rich countries are caused by tobacco

Cancer is the most preventable and curable non-communicable disease yet it is underfunded and under resourced. and the response needs to come from beyond medical boundaries. According the CEO of American Cancer Society, cancer is a violent disease – you have to fight for your life and fight for your treatment. He estimates that if the U.S. could reduce the number of cancer cases by 10% the would save $1 trillion in medical costs.

There were some discussions on how best to provide information and education on prevention strategies. While we want to empower people to make healthy personal choices that reduce the risk of getting cancer, we must be careful to not blame the patient. It does not help our cause to have people feel guilty while fighting the disease. Some prevention strategies that can save live

· eliminate exposure to tobacco - Tobacco is only co-op that can market an addictive and lethal disease.

- Get exercise

- Be active – become an activist

It became evident that government around the world would need to become actively involved in this fight, both in their own countries, and finding some way to work together to ensure all people in the world have to medical treatments that will save their lives, give them a better quality of life, and for those who are not curable, let them life pain free, with respect and dignity. Some suggestions on how governments can make a difference are:

· Cancer must be approached in an intersectoral manner – across all areas of government. This is not only a health issue. Some governments allocate funding based on evidence based treatments and best practices.

· We can use some preventative strategies – eliminate tobacco use, eliminate use of tanning beds, use screening programs – there needs to be buy in from all levels and areas of government.

· change the length of time a drug company can have monopoly on intellectual property – perhaps 2 years, and government subsidize any losses to company for the other 3 years.

· We should utilize current infrastructure and use electronic transfer of images/diagnostics.

· We may need to take this issue to United Nations to address this on a global level.

· Sometimes even free programs don’t have 100% participation – often lower socio-economic groups don’t participate. We need to find ways to address the barriers these groups have to accessing screening tests.

· We need solidarity in fight – address fears of being ill and dying.

· Our plan and vision need to be based on best possible outcomes for patients and access for patient to receive best treatments available.

· We must give hope – cancer does not mean death.

· Countries should create a national cancer plan (Canada has one)

Summit - Day 2 or 1?

Today was the first real day of the summit. A long, be very informative day of panel discussions. We heard from many world leaders about cooperation, prevention and the increase of cancer cases in developing countries. We heard about the difficult decisions countries must make with funding, and how important it is to address the funding needs. To tell the truth, my mind is full of information and I am very tired. I will finish this tomorrow. I need some sleep. 

TTFN

The Summit, Ireland, Day 2

Entrance to Dublin Castle                                              Sand sculpture                                                                                  

                                                                                                                                                                                            

 One of the castle rooms

Today was a "get ready" day for summit. Registration was in the afternoon and the opening reception at 6:30. We have a great summit bag - a nice LIVESTRONG bag with a portfolio and pen, water bottle, pin, bracelets, flash drive, an "Atlas on Tobacco" and  couple of other things. Quite a nice treat! The reception was held at Dublin Castle and we were warmly welcomed by LAF CEO Doug Ullman. While at the reception I chatted with people from Austin, Texas, Boston Mass, Miami Florida, and a couple of other places I don't remember! We heard greetings from the Irish Ministry of Health and the U.S. Ambassador to Ireland.  Ireland is one of the world leaders on cancer control - something of which I was not aware. There is more learning to come tomorrow. I feel like a minnow in a sea of whales! Most people here are affiliated with organizations and their paid job is the reason they are here. There are doctors, psychologists, researchers and many more professions represented.  There are a few LIVESTRONG leaders here - I hope to find them soon!  It is definitely overwhelming at the moment to be surrounded by such intelligence and wisdom. I sure hope I can manage to absorb a whole load of information! Unfortunately there has been nothing organized for spouses/family members who are accompanying delegates.  It will be a couple of long days for Callum.  I am sure he will find something to do while I am busy - hopefully he finds some friendly people along the way.

TTFN

Ireland Day 1

We arrived in Ireland and were greeted by sunshine and the warmth of Summit volunteers.  We never had to look far for help when we needed it. Everyone here is quite friendly and helpful. So far it has been a good trip, although we have some jet lag.  Our hotel is quite lovely and comfy so will feel quite at home.  The coffee, however, is coffee in Europe! Only 1 week of it this time, though! Tomorrow I can register and the opening reception is at Dublin Castle in the evening.  I need to check to see if Callum can come for the dinners - it will be a couple of long days if he can't. 

Check out www.livestrong.org for updates!

Happiness is.....

Welcome Cade Scott Bonneville!!!

It has been a whirlwind of the past six weeks or so.  I am hearing from many people that they have been checking my blog - to no avail!

For those who remember, this blog will be in the spirit of that famous song, and Charlie Brown book....Happiness is.....

HAPPINESS IS.....GRANDCHILDREN!!

Since my last blog, we have been to Saskatoon, Medicine Hat, back to Saskatoon, Medicine Hat, Alameda, Medicine Hat......are you starting to see a pattern? I have a new guy in my life.  Fear not, Callum is still my main squeeze!  Cade Scott Bonneville was born July 7, 2009. He was 7 lbs, 7 oz. We had fun with the numbers game - born on 7/7, weighed 7/7. And if you take 9 -2 (in 2009) you come up with 7! What a lucky boy! 

He has been the brightest spark in our life since his arrival. He spends some time each day talking to Grandad, well, OK - cooing.  He loves to hear his Grandad's voice and intently gazes at him when he speaks. They have spoken of the ways of the world, what he should aspire to be as he grows up, and other important life lessons.  Luckily, he is still eager to hear the wisdom of Grandad.

Stuart and Vanessa are doing well. They have definitely risen to the occasion in the parenting world. Cade couldn't have more loving and caring - and very smart! - parents. It is a joy to see such a loving couple share their love with a wee being.  They could be a new definition of family and we are very proud of them.

Cade

5 weeks old

HAPPINESS IS.....STABLE HEALTH!

Callum has continued to feel very well. He has continued with the 5 - FU chemo and leucovorin. He generally has fewer side effects and has a quicker recovery. He had a CT scan mid-July and it shows no change from the April CT scan. We are absolutely thrilled! This means that it has now been 1 year since a CT scan showed any disease progression.  Could this be the miracle?Unfortunately, our elation was short lived, to an extent.  Blood tests in early August showed some fluctuations in his liver enzymes. Dr. A is a bit concerned that it is a result of some cancer spread that hasn't yet shown up on the CT. So Callum had oxaliplatin chemo added to his last treatment, just in case the fluctuations are due to cancer.  To put this into context though, the enzyme levels that Dr A is concerned about are still lower than they were in early spring! We are optimistic that the fluctuations are due to chemo or something else, and not cancer. And even if it is cancer, we feel extremely confident that the oxaliplatin will once again take care of it. A follow up blood test post chemo treatment showed some decrease in some levels, and minor increase in the others. Nothing major. We are not worried....nor should you.

HAPPINESS IS......MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY

Dr A has also ordered an ultrasound to see how the blood clot is doing. Callum has had absolutely no issues with it, but it hasn't been checked since the end of January, so I guess it is time. The ultrasound is on August 19, so we should know early Sept what is happening with the clot.

HAPPINESS IS.....IRELAND!!

I think I have mentioned that I started a community group - Saskatoon Supporting LIVESTRONG, as part of the global action on cancer started by the Lance Armstrong Foundation. On behalf of our group, I submitted a commitment to bring the Giant Colon Tour, an education exhibit of the Colorectal Cancer Association of Canada, to Saskatoon.  I am priveleged to be one of the 225 or so committments (out of 300) to be invited to attend the Lance Armstrong Global Summit on Cancer in Dublin, from Aug 24 - 26! So, Callum and I are off to Ireland on Aug 21 and will return to Saskatoon on Aug 28. Unfortunately we have no extra time to hop over to Scotland.....but Callum will be by himself while I am at the conference, so if anyone in Scotland wants to pop over, just drop us an email or give us a call! I am very excited to be part of the positive action that will make cancer history.  

HAPPINESS IS......GREAT FRIENDS

Saskatoon Supporting LIVESTRONG is a new group making giant leaps! Along with the Giant Colon Tour, we will have a Wear Yellow Day, to help offset the costs of the Giant Colon and hopefully to have some funds to donate to worthy cancer causes in Saskatoon and area. None of this would not be possible if not for some great friends we have found in Saskatoon. You know who you are - THANK YOU!!!

HAPPINESS IS.....WONDERFUL FAMILY

We spent a few days in early August helping my mom prepare for an auction sale. She and my step-dad, Earl, have decided to move into a seniors apartment in Alameda. We are happy to see them move into town and closer to other people. It was a busy few days, but so nice to be with my sisters and brother, sister in law and brothers in law for that time. We got to have short visits with some Aunts and Uncles, and cousins.  The sale went well and both Mom and Earl were quite pleased at the end. 

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."   

  Norman Vincent Peale

TTFN

Lorna 

And the days go on....

Well, here we are, July already.  And no Grandbaby yet. Soon, any day now. We are now in Medicine Hat waiting for the arrival of the newest little one. The last month continued to be busy.  I had another trip to Regina and have hired a summer student so had been busy getting her up to speed in the office. We have been in the Hat for a week now - baby is 1 week overdue.  Vanessa was at the Dr today and she and baby are basically ready - just waiting for contractions to start. She will be induced on Monday if she hasn't had it before then. We have enjoyed our week here - I have done working while here and we have been helping Vanessa and Stuart around the house.

Callum is doing very well. He is still feeling really good most days - thanks to not having that nasty oxaliplatin chemo! His bloodwork has been good and he has his next CT scan July 17. We are confident it will once again be a great one! His next chemo is July 8. We are hoping baby is here by then!

The LIVESTRONG group I started in Saskatoon has been busy planning our LIVESTRONG Day activities for Oct. 2.  Anyone have a spare $12,500?  We are going to have the Giant Colon Tour as one of our activities. It is a 40 ft long, 8 ft high inflatable replica of a colon that will show different stages of colorectal cancer, as well as what Crohn's and Colitis look like. It is quite the thing, but costs a few pennies. We are in the process of seeking funding to cover the cost - no worries. We are also adding in a Wear Yellow Day and a surprise dance activity. A fun day for all!

Unfortunately, we are not often very far from people who are battling this dreadful disease. Everyone is at a different point in their fight, but all take on this fight with conviction, determination, and humour. Don't discount the importance of humour!  Laughing has been proven to have many positive benefits.  We sincerely hope that each of these wonderful people continue to be persistent in their fight, and win. Sometimes it is overwhelming and seems impossible, but we must go forward, hope and keep our belief in a successful outcome.  

I have found that one of the outlets that gives me energy is the LIVESTRONG group. I really like the positive outlook of our group. We know reality, but also see that there are things we can change. We will make a difference.  This group is one way that I can work in a positive way to address cancer issues. Focus on change, making things better for those who walk this journey. It has already provided me many opportunities - with many more to come!

I will update the blog shortly after the baby makes it's entrance.

"There is the risk you cannot afford to take, and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take."    Peter Drucker

TTFN

Well - there he is - the man with the Porsche! It took forever to get a picture of him with the car. We have had a pile of fun with the car! Last weekend we headed to Medicine Hat, lid down, letting the sunshine and hurricane breezes wash over us.  Callum is having a blast with it. He has his new baby.

Things have been going very well. Callum is still not having the oxaliplatin, so he has fewer side effects from the chemo treatments. The anti-nausea steroids keep him pretty wired for 2-3 days after treatment, and he doesn't sleep well those nights, so he tends to be tired come the weekend. He perks up pretty quickly after that and for quite a few days now he says he feels better than he has in about a year!  He had his MRI on May 28, and things seem fine. We haven't yet receive the written report, but Dr. Ahmad said it was OK - no new growths. We are quite happy with that!  The next CT of his chest/abdomen/pelvis will be in 4 - 6 weeks. His liver enzymes are still a bit high, but have come down again. All good news! 

I have just finished my crazy, busy time at work. It has been very busy for the past 2- 3 months. It is so nice to have a breather now. I have a summer student this year and she is wonderful. I plan to take some time around the arrival of our grandbaby, and when necessary, work from Medicine Hat in July when we are there. There is at least one major deadline in July so figured I may as well not break up my vacation - with a summer student, internet and phones I can work as much as I need to from the Hat. And with trips back to Saskatoon for chemo - I will be in the office fairly regularly anyway. I will officially take holidays in August. 

There is not much else new. We are getting more and more excited for the grandbaby - less than 3 weeks now (we hope no longer than that!). Vanessa is now on holidays/mat leave, so is now done work. She is getting in her last few weeks of rest, and hopefully she and Stuart get a chance to have some couple time - it could be a while before they get that again! Although, I know a Grandad and Gram who will be happy to babysit anytime!

I feel so lucky that we are able to experience this joy and anticipation. It is truly a wonderful time in our lives, and one that we thought might not be shared with Callum. Life is so close to normal that it is often difficult to remember that cancer is lurking, somewhere, out there. We have many, many good days, filled with special moments, and special people. Thank you all, for your prayers, positive thoughts and best wishes. Callum works hard every day to beat this disease, but we know that we need your support. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.

"We find things where we look for them, which is why I never look for a golf ball out of bounds."  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

TTFN

Time...oh time....where does it go?

I don't know where the time goes! It has been such a busy month and here we are back in Medicine Hat already! This is my busy time at work so have been working on funding applications and our premiere event of the year - the Minister's Collection student art showcase. We had our reception and celebration in Regina yesterday. It was a great day! 

I attended the District 42 Toastmaster's Convention the weekend of May 1 - 3. Since my ambition is to become a paid pubic speaker I thought it was a logical group to join after we moved to Saskatoon. We are a smaller club but very nice and encouraging! I thoroughly enjoyed the convention and met many wonderful people. I picked up quite a few tips in the field of public speaking and were we so fortunate to have the Toastmasters International President provide an education session and the keynote address. 

One exciting thing to have happened in the last month is that I have started a group in Saskatoon as part of the Lance Armstrong Foundation's Global Grassroots Campaign. The LAF is expanding its efforts globally and I thought it was a perfect fit to help address cancer issues in our community and to advocate to make cancer a national priority. We had our first meeting May 6 and combined our first meeting with a Conversation on Cancer Control. The Conversation is part of a world wide effort G0 Public Campaign organized in partnership with the LAF, Campaign to Control Cancer (a Canadian organization) and the International Union on Cancer Control. We were a small but powerful group! Everyone in the group has been impacted by cancer in some way, and has a lot of passion to discover how we can best control cancer. It was a very informative and inspiring meeting!  I look forward to working with this group - they are amazing and so very supportive!

 

As for Callum - he is doing great! He is doing so well that I often forget he is sick. He is still not taking the Oxaliplatin chemo - and won't have it again until either the side effects are gone or the disease starts progressing again.  He has few side effects from the 5-FU so has had many good days lately. Of course......when you own a Porsche every day is a good day!  Yes.....a few short months ago it was looking like Callum may not drive again. And now....he owns a 2000 Porsche Boxster! It is an awesome car.....I love it.  It is sitting in our garage right now because in Saskatchewan it needs daytime running lights to be safetied so we can register and insure it (we bought it in Winnipeg).  Callum made many phone calls to track down the lights and relay switch and find a repair shop in Saskatoon who will work on the Porsche.  But the earliest appointment we could get was June 1 - so the car will sit until then. With any luck a cancellation will come in and it will be done sooner. And it should be done snowing by then!

Callum has an MRI on May 28 to check the status of the brain tumours, and other than that he has just regular chemo treatments coming up. It is now sounding like he will likely remain on blood thinners for an undetermined time, regardless of what the blood clot is doing. I suppose it is better to be safe and make sure there is no more clotting.

After months of dealing with the various medical issues it has been a bit weird dealing with some calm in the medical front, and with Callum feeling so much better. At times I forget that this can change at any moment. We have had over 2 months of regular, routine treatments and tests - no crisis or mini-crisis. Sometimes it feels like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then I try to enjoy the moment, be excited for the day (and the Porsche!) and believe that it doesn't have to end. Some days it is hard to not borrow worry - I have to work hard at not worrying about things that likely won't happen. No worry until there is something to worry about. Balancing a positive outlook with anxiety lurking in the background. I was telling my massage therapist about how contradicting my feelings can be, and he said that every day is like that for him! It is so helpful for someone to normalize some of these feelings. Everyone has days like that for various reasons - I am not unique in that way. It is normal - how nice that sounds. I am quite enjoying this less stressful time and talking about the future. Callum is working so hard to stay healthy and we are looking forward to time spent in Medicine Hat with our grandbaby (and our children, of course!). So many happy things ahead of us. 

I have been approached in the last week by a few people who know someone who may be seeking some support as they travel through their cancer journey. I am quite willing to share what I have learned, provide support, encourage - just plain listen - to anyone. If this blog helps you in any way, and you want to make a more personal connection (by email, phone, whatever works for you!) feel free to contact me. As I have said, cancer does not strike in isolation, and neither can change. I will do my best to help as you travel on your journey.   Send me an email calloscott@shaw.ca  and let me know how I can help.

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow." Orison Marden

TTFN

Easter - new beginnings

Happy Easter! 

We are enjoying Easter in Medicine Hat this year. As time goes by and families grow we have had to be flexible and creative. This year our family Easter meal was a brunch. Our nephew Chris and his family graciously offered their home for the family get together. We brought some wifesaver brunch casserole and Erika brought some fruit. Along with toast and juice we were well fed! The weather is beautiful - blue sky, sunshine and warm enough to not need socks! I love it! The deer in the picture was just outside Vanessa's patio door this morning. Maybe not unusual in the country, but a real treat in the middle of the city!

It has been a good news week. We met with Dr Ahmad and had some preliminary results from the CT scan - nothing of interest showing, it has basically stayed the same. Callum's blood work was very good, with the exception of those nasty liver enzymes. Two pretty much stayed the same and one was up again. Callum also still has some of the numbness and tingling in his hands and feet. So, no Oxaliplatin for at least 4 weeks. Dr. Ahmad still wants to go ahead with the 5-FU (Fluororacil) chemo and he increased the dose a bit while there is no Oxaliplatin. The neat part of it is that the 5 FU is that it can be pumped through the IV in about 20 minutes. This means that Callum is at the hospital for only about 1 hour on chemo day. The side effects have been minimal again so that has been really nice. We are hoping there is no more increase in the liver enzymes. While Callum will say he is nearly ready for a break from chemo he really wants to keep on with it as long so he can to be sure to keep those cancer cells at bay! 

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family." Earl Nightingale

 

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me! For those who know me pretty well, you likely know that I am not one of those people who tends to be humble about my birthday. I am usually always ready for cake and presents! And this year I am not disappointed.  No, the car isn't my present. But it is similar to the one Callum will  soon be looking at - if we ever get rid of the snow in Toon Town! Hopefully Jamie was able to get out and start the scouting trip in Calgary today.  Today is a wonderful day. I have to admit that I think I had a few moments before Christmas when I was fearful that Callum would not be here to wish me happy birthday. We are so fortunate and grateful that he is. And he is feeling great! We are joining some Saskatoon friends for dinner tonight so it is an extra special day.

Things have been quite normal and stable these days. I am able to put in fairly regular working hours and Callum is having fun driving the hottest car in Saskatoon.  He had his regular 3 month CT scan yesterday and we should have some preliminary results on Monday when we meet with Dr. Ahmad. I know I am a bit nervous about this one - he has had 2 really good scans, and no change since July.  We know each month increases the chance that there will be a change, but I just don't think it will be this one.  We both believe that the rising liver enzymes are due to the chemo and  he may be looking at taking a cycle off to give his liver a break. And perhaps without the Oxaliplatin in his last treatment the enzymes may be down now! He is still feeling some numbness from the Oxaliplatin so we suspect he won't have it this cycle, if he does have chemo. The sciatica he had been experiencing is pretty much gone and nearly now only a bad memory. Many people have been telling me how much better he looks than he did before Christmas. We are now convinced the side effects of the whole brain radiation were much worse than we first thought. 

We are excited to be heading to the Hat Easter weekend. We haven't seen Vanessa, Stuart and baby bump since February. I am sure bump has grown quite a bit. Jamie is coming out to Saskatoon the middle of April so it will be wonderful to see him since we haven't seen him since we got back from Scotland. 

I am starting something new and exciting.  A couple of months ago I came across an opportunity to start a LIVESTRONG Community Group in Saskatoon. www.livestrong.org/global   This opportunity was offered by the Lance Armstrong Foundation as part of their Global Campaign on Cancer. It will be a grassroots group that will work on fulfilling the mission and vision of the Lance Armstrong Foundation while addressing specific community needs for cancer survivors and their families.  Specifically it will focus on ending the stigma of cancer; help increase awareness and access to resources, services, prevention, treatment and care; and work with governments to make cancer a national priority. We are just in our infancy and will have our first open house and meeting on Wednesday, May 6. I have found some very good people who are interested in helping me with this exciting challenge and have already found some great community support!  It has only just begun but I am finding it very energizing and easy. It is a path I must follow.

"Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."   Vince Lombardi

TTFN

Update time!

Cal BBQ-ing in Ixtapa .....fond memories of +30 degrees.....to take away the pain of -48 windchill!

Hi folks,

It has been a while since I have posted. Time seems to fly so fast these days. Callum has been doing OK - is starting to get some relief from the sciatica that started in February. Thank goodness for good massage therapists and chiropractors! He had another cycle of chemo this past week, with reduced 5 FU - one of the chemo drugs.  His platelets were up slightly so that is good. They had been a bit low the last cycle. We had some great news - the MRI of the lumbar spine region came back clear. It looks like the leg pain is caused by a regular, but painful, case of sciatica. He has his next CT scan on the abdomen/chest/pelvis on April 3.  Hopefully there are no changes again. He feels no different so we are feeling pretty positive!

I have gone back to work full time - we'll see how it goes. This is the busy time for us so I hope to be able to get us through the next 2 - 3 months. It helps so much now that Callum is able to drive again. We are having fun practicing the schedule and planning of who needs to be where and when and who will keep the car. Never a dull moment here! And with the reduced chemo he has fewer side effects so he is up to cooking and laundry a lot more often - it makes such a huge difference when he can do those things.  

We have a busy visiting week coming up. My friend and her daughter from Ohio are here for a few days.  They are here to see family so it will be busy for them. Cal's brother and wife (and hopefully nephew!) will be here this coming weekend, and our dear friends from Winnipeg will be here next Sunday (Carvers...here we come!). We have had a pretty quiet time the last couple of weeks so it will be nice to have visitors again. 

One thing that I have wondered about lately is what people think when we say Callum is doing well. I don't usually worry about what people think - mostly am wondering about the "science' of perception and communication. Sometimes I wonder if people think that he is feeling like he did a year ago - full of energy and able to take on anything. I wish that was the case. I have to remind myself sometimes that even though he looks like the same old guy (well, with a little less hair) he doesn't have that same energy level. It's just that he looks like he should be able to put on his suit and head to the office! And he does have a number of days he feels like that - just not enough of them. And he likely couldn't put in a full day. Just hard to see it that way, sometimes. And then....when I say he is doing OK....do people expect to see the gaunt looking cancer patient? And then wonder how sick he could be when they see him? Maybe I am just trying to reconcile it for myself so try to see it though the eyes of others.  It is just so hard to realize that even this time may be limited. Things have been pretty stable the last few weeks - it seems like we could live like this for years now! Hopefully that is the case. The other option just seems to be far away right now.

And we have so much to look forward to. Just over 3 months to being grandparents. You should see Callum's face light up every time we talk about the grandbaby. Such a wonderful time in the lives of Vanessa and Stuart...and ours! 

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."     Denis Waitley

Merry go round or rollercoaster?

Another 2 weeks have gone by - where does the time go? Soon it will be spring - wont' it? 

We have had a busy couple of weeks. I am not sure if we are dizzy from being on a merry-go-round or from being on the mini rollercoaster.  Things are pretty much OK - not much to worry about.

Just over a week ago Callum hurt his back and had pain radiating down the back of his leg. We are thinking that it had something to do with the cook a thon he had preparing some food for our freezer. We spent some time at the hospital to make sure the pain wasn't from a blood clot. He had an ultrasound done on his leg which showed no clot - so we are very thankful! However, he continued to have a lot of pain and little sleep for the next few days - not a great combination for our visit to Medicine Hat.  Well, I managed to take a load of baby clothes there at least! Callum had a massage while we were in the Hat, and then had a couple of chiropractic adjustments and another massage which have helped so much. The chiropractor ordered an x-ray of the back (it appears to have been sciatica) to make sure there was no tumour causing the problem. The x-ray is clear so things seems to be OK. The oncologist ordered an MRI (March 4th) to make sure all is well. His back is starting to get tight again so he has another adjustment and massage on Wednesday. 

We had a visit with the oncologist last Tuesday. Things are pretty good. The liver enzymes have risen again which the Dr says could be either from the chemo or possibly the cancer has spread.  Callum will likely have a CT scan sometime this month to see if anything has changed in the chest, pelvis or abodomen since December. The 5FU chemo has been reduced again, per protocol, so is now 1/2 the original dose. 

We had a good call from Dr. Ahmad today. He has talked with Dr West, the gamma knife surgeon from Winnipeg. He says Dr West isn't concerned about the small change in one of the brain tumours - he feels they have responded to the gamma knife surgery.  We are quite happy to hear that!

We had a great visit with Callum's brother Alan and our niece Alex last week. We were busy with many appointments but did manage some good visits. I do think Callum enjoys having testosterone in the house whenever possible. 

Callum is handling the chemo quite well. Only a couple of days of fatique and a bit of nausea - quite different than before Christmas. 

With Callum doing better  - and being able to drive again - I am spending more time at work. It is coming up to our busy time so hopefully all works out for a while now.

These past few weeks have once again shown me how quickly things can change - for the worse - and for the better.  I have come up with a new response when looking into the future - "we can plan, but no commitments!".  

Overall we are doing quite fine. Bumps here and there but that happens to everyone! 

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.  
W. Clement Stone

TTFN

Back at it!

(Cal enjoying a meal at the Fraserburgh Leisure Centre. Thank you Auntie Beryl and Uncle John!)

It has certainly been an interesting week. Callum's chemo had been postponed to Thursday. Up until now he has always had treatment on a Wednesday. It made the week seem a bit weird. His blood counts have come up enough to have his treatment. We were quite happy about that.  Some counts are still below normal, but not too low for chemo. He has tolerated it quite well again, so far. Sunday, Monday and possibly Tuesday will be the worst days, but hopefully not too bad. His hair still continues to grow. It is quite a bit more sparse on the top yet, but we are hopeful he will have a head of hair again by spring (remember we are in Saskatoon and are about 2 months away from spring yet!).  He had an ultrasound on his arm and the blood clot has dissipated in some areas, but is still there in others. He will continue with the blood thinners for a while yet. We have received the MRI report and it basically looks good. There was nothing new showing and one tumour appears stabilized. The other appears to be a wee bit larger (2mm) than in the last scan, but that could be related  to the radiation and gamma knife surgery. Dr. Ahmad says he is not concerned and forwarded the results to Dr West in Winnipeg over a week ago. We have heard nothing since then so we are confident that there is nothing to worry about. A funny thing about the call - Dr Ahmad identified himself to Callum by his first name, Imran, not Dr Ahmad.  I guess we have become quite familiar these past few months! It made me chuckle for quite a few days. 

The best thing that happened this week is that he found out that SGI (our drivers license bureau) has decided to NOT take his license! He is free to drive now and will just need to submit a medical report in Jan 2010. We are ecstatic! Now he is looking at sports cars.....I wonder what he will choose.  Maybe one like this black one. Who knows.  I am sure he will have fun shopping! 

 I have started putting in a few more hours at work.  Callum is feeling quite a bit better now so it isn't quite as hard to be away. He is back to cooking  - made an excellent stir fry today - it is joy to me! I have to work now to help pay for the sports car and grandbaby clothes and things. We have so many exciting things to look forward to!        

We had been looking forward to another holiday away, but our schedules just couldn't cooperate with our friends' schedules, so that trip to Jamaica will just have to wait. We haven't yet decided if we will still go away or not - we will see how things go over the next few weeks. 

Last fall it seemed like Callum was getting more sick each week, and that we were not going to see many better days. Now, some days, it is once again hard to believe he is so sick. We have many good days. We have enjoyed a few evenings out in the past couple of weeks. And now that he will be able to drive again, I think he will be spending quite a few more days out of the house. I have had many days lately where I believe I am seeing a miracle in the making. He is amazing. We still have little discussions about things. Like how weird this is. When do things get worse? How long will the good days last? At what point does chemo stop? Not easy questions to consider. Determination is there. We have a grandbaby arriving in June and he plans on being there when it is born. He wouldn't miss it for the world! Goals are good. We have to keep having something to look forward to. 

I would like to say that life almost feels normal. But please realize, that our normal is quite a bit different than it was a year ago. Normal now includes Dr visits, chemo, CT scans, ultrasounds, MRI's,  nausea, fatigue, blood counts, supplements, and day time TV (ugh!).   It is so wonderful that these things have once again become a small piece of our daily lives. We plan on having this last for quite a while!

Well, you have caught me on a very good day. I am feeling really positive about today, and the future. I am ready for the bumps. We are ready for the bumps. Life is good.

"Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness - happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love."

Adela Rogers St John, 1894 - 1988 (American Journalist)                      

A wee bump....

Well, as things tend to go, we have hit a bump in the road. I do believe it is a small one, but another one of those things. Callum was to have chemo today, but is was cancelled as his platelet count is down. It is disappointing and he is somewhat upset and frustrated. And I think scared a wee bit. The platelet count is due to the chemo, not the cancer. I am sure most of you know, but the platelets are the part of the blood that helps clotting. It is kind of a weird situation as he still has some of the blood clot in his arm, but now his platelets are low and he is prone to bleeding. He is afraid that we are too close to having to stop chemo because of the side effects. The people at the cancer clinic seem to take this in stride, so I think we will, too.  The chemo has been rescheduled to next Thursday, Feb 12, providing his platelets are back up. Other than that he is feeling pretty good. He is starting to get some tingling in his feet and a little numbness in his fingertips - both side effects of chemo.  

He had an MRI last week but we don't yet have the results. Hopefully we get them soon. Usually that means that there are no issues, but one can never bank on that!

On the upside, he is feeling well enough to cook so I am pretty happy about that. 

He is looking forward to a night out with some of the guys from the StarPhoenix on Friday - something he hasn't done for quite a while. I am sure he will enjoy getting out of the house and being around a bit more testosterone than usual. He sure deserves to have some fun!

"All things are possible to him who believes; they are less difficult to him who hopes; they are easy to him who loves; and they are simple to any who do all three."  Brother Lawrence

Are we on the "upside" of things?

Things have been quite fine the last couple of weeks. Cal handled the chemo pretty well, especially the first 2 days. He did have some nausea and fatigue on Monday and Tuesday, but nothing near like it was before Christmas. We are thinking we can contribute this to a couple of things - it has been more time since he finished radiation and he missed one chemo treatment when we were away. It has been so wonderful to see him almost back to himself. Although...I think my perception of the "old self" has changed over the past few months. His bloodwork was good. A few things high or low, but only slightly. The liver enzymes that were quite high over the past couple of months are near normal, and the CEA - his blood cancer marker - was the lowest it has been since he was first diagnosed in 2005! It has been a few wonderful days! And....one more great thing.....wait for it......his hair has started growing back! Just some peach fuzz right now, but growing more everyday! We aren't sure whether it will come back black or grey...but who cares! It is coming back.

I have returned to work on a part time basis. The first week has gone fine...the 2nd week pretty good. I am not sure how it will work out over the long term, but as long as things are stable with the cancer and medical appointments I feel the best thing is for me to work. The doctors won't say anything more than they have about prognosis, so until things change, we will continue to believe that he will stay stable for quite a few months yet - maybe longer. Much too long for me to not work! We will continue to take our holidays and I plan to not let anything interfere with that. I feel like I have "recharged" a bit so will continue working for now. And of course, when Callum needs me to be home, I will be home. 

Callum had an MRI of his brain today. Hopefully we don't hear any results until next week - if we don't hear anything for about a week it usually means all is well. 

I haven't done any shopping for our grandbaby for nearly 2 weeks - oops - make that only a week! It is so exciting to have that to look forward to.

So, for now....we enjoy and embrace the many positive moments and good news so that we may gain the strength to "shoot the rapids" of the next bump. 

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope."  Alexandre Dumas

Happy New Year from Scotland!

Happy New Year everyone!

I suppose I am a bit late with that - but it is kind of Ukrainian New Year's tomorrow!

I am now in Glasgow, Scotland. We have had a whirlwind tour for the last two weeks. At some time I will add up the miles to see what we have covered. 

It is about 8 pm local time and Callum, Jamie and Stuart have gone to the Aberdeen - Kilmarnock football (soccer) game tonight. I have stayed back with Vanessa as she has come down with a nasty cold and flu. She is really trying hard to tough it out and take nothing since she is pregnant, but she has quite a sore chest and stuffy nose. Jamie has been suffering with the same flu since last Friday. He has taken many meds to help break the fever and get some relief, but he had a lot of pain in his chest and back for a few days. Such a shame on an all too short holiday!

Our plans were to go to Edinburgh tomorrow, Callum's birthday. We wanted to take the kids to see Edinburgh castle and Holyrood Palace. Vanessa has plans to meet with her friend Lacey on Thursday for supper or after supper. However, we have decided to take an easy day tomorrow and try to give Vanessa, Jamie and Callum a rest day. Callum wasn't sure he would be able to take in the soccer game and go to Edinburgh the next day. They have to travel by train about 30 miles south of Glasgow to the football pitch and kick off was scheduled for 7:45 pm so it will be a late night for them. So, we will see what Glasgow has to offer tomorrow and see if we can make it to Edinburgh, or possibly Stirling, on Thursday.

We have had a great time. We first spent a few days with Peter and Sheena in Fraserburgh. This included a shopping trip to Aberdeen - I dropped a few $$ in Baby Gap and Disney Store!  We headed to Grantown-on-Spey on Sunday, Jan 4.  Callum, Jamie and I stayed at our cousin  Nicola's/Aunt Fiona's place, and Vanessa and Stuart stayed at Auntie Sandra's and Bob's place. They are only about 2 blocks from each other so were easy to walk to. Except for the wretched icy streets and sidewalks! There was freezing rain on rain on freezing rain for a day or so and walking was difficult. Callum had a little tumble but is no worse for it. We had lovely meals and enjoyed our visit. Nicola has a 20 month old girl so it was fun watching her for those few days! We had some extraordinary visits with Nana Campbell. It was such a special time for her and our children to meet. She is 90 1/2 years old, is physically frail but her mind is sharp as a tack!  She is living at Nicola's and Fiona's so they are kept busy looking after her. Nana Campbell told us many times how well they take care of her, and how lucky she is to have them there. We only wish we had more time to spend with her, but she tires easily and we really wore her out in those 3 days. 

We then returned to Fraserburgh on Wed. Jan 7 - thanks to Auntie Beryl, Uncle John, John and Mhorag - who drove us both ways. We had a lovely dinner with them at the Fraserburgh Leisure Center before heading back to Peter and Sheena's place. Thursday, Jan 8 was a miraculous day for us all, but especially Jamie and Callum. It was Jamie's birthday and Peter had arranged a trip to St Andrew's. Unknown to us, he had also planned to stop at Carnoustie. We were able to walk a bit on each course and enjoyed reliving memories of past British Opens.  We dropped a whole lot of cash at the St Andrew's gift shop and I am sure pretty much everyone was wishing they had their clubs - even though it was quite cold -as you can see by our choice of outdoor clothing for the day!  We finished the day with a visit to the cathedral and castle (or what is left of them) and a wee bit of shopping before heading back to Fraserburgh. A good time was had by all and Jamie says it is the best birthday he has had - since his birth! Friday was a "do whatever you want" day and Saturday was spent getting ready for the good-bye party for Peter and Sheena who are off to Qatar for a 5 year stint. 

Sunday was an easy day with dinner with Peter and Sheena, their daughters and families - Debbie and John, Kerry, Cieren, Catelynn and Camryn. Monday was spent packing and now here we are in Glasgow. 

Callum has been very well. At times tired, but so are we! He is a trooper - no complaining and doing his best to take in every experience and opportunity. 

We are having a truly wonderful family holiday filled with many treasured memories.  And with very little talk of the "c" word we can, at least for now, believe that it will be just the first of many, many other family holidays and visits to Scotland. 

"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yestereay a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day, for it is life, the very life of life." The Sanskrit